You and I

You did it again
You made me cry
You said those words
You said goodbye

I gave my love
I gave it all
I gave too much
I still fall

You don't really care
You aren't really true
You just couldn't say those words
You could not say: I love you

I still die
I dare to tell a lie
I still cry
I learned to say Goodbye

Blinded

If you open your eyes
then one day you'll see
how beautiful I am
and you'll be missing me

Out Cold

Sticks and stones
they break my bones
and your words
they always hurt me
You tare me apart
and break my heart
Your hurt my soul
and leave me cold
and you still find ways
to desert me

If I Should Die

If I should die
who would care?
Who would even notice
that I'm not there?
Who would take on
the many dreams I sought?
And who would battle love
in which many years I've fought?
Who would cry
in the mist of my death?
Whose heart would ache
because I left?
If I should die
where would I go?
Who would pray for me
that to heaven I flow?
If I should die
who would side
with love for me
If I should die?

Addicted

Don't cry little girl
mommy is on her way
holding your baby brother in your arms
cant go out to play.
His crying is getting louder
there's no milk in the house to feed him
Your fingers he sucks is not enough
it's only a way to tease him.
But don't cry baby girl
because mommy is on her way
she wouldn't leave you alone to fien for yourself
on this cold winter day.
Your only seven years old
left with so much responsibility
looking in your brothers eyes
feeling the liability
Always knew your home was different
because mommy had an addiction
crack cocaine got the best of her
now afraid of your predictions
wipe your tears little girl
get on your knees and pray
mommy's been gone for a week now
don't know if she is on her way
no one has come by to check on you
to make sure you were alright
lights not on, heat cut off
freezing while you sleep every night.

still holding your brother tight.

both stomachs are empty
they've been empty for a week
baby brother's crying getting dimmer
because he is getting weak.
So cry all you want baby girl
it hurts, I feel the pain
feeling stranded, left abandoned
for a bitch they call cocaine.

Daddy's Little Girl

Why are you testing me?
Undressing me with your eyes,
think I can't see?
A little girl on the wrong side of the tracks,
looking for love, and I became your target?
Clueless to the world,
and what it's capable of,
so I fell for it.
A grown man rubbing on a little girls face,
never felt right to me.
Kissing me on my lips, spreading my thighs,
climbing on top of me.
I'm screaming out NO,
I hear it in my head,
replays back so intensely.
A childhood gone, ones innocence vanished
all in that night that you raped me!
You left me there to marinate in my own sulk, my own juices
mixed together with your filth!
And I'm closing my eyes, to open them back up
convincing myself that this isn't real.
But I feel....
I feel the pain in my stomach,
the blood on my hand,
a wetness between my thighs.
I feel my mind shifting,
my tears dripping,
my knees weak as I begin to rise.
I feel the fear in my heart,
my clothes ripped apart,
I even feel the disgust in my mommies eyes,
I feel the shame from my family,
But it's all my fault,
when my daddy raped me that night!

Ad least that's what he told me............

Untitled

Close your eyes and picture this man
enchanting chocolate skin, as he sleeps
delicate, delightful complexion
his lips, just make me so damn weak
smooth bald head
his hands filled with so much power
the thought of his body next to mine
makes me want him by the hour
nice tight legs
his arms tighten by the grip
he tosses and turns in his bed
while my heart does flips
sound asleep as he is right now
I watch his chest rise
and if his eyes were open
YES! they can hypnotize
but in the morning he wakes up
and goes back to his wicked ways
leaving me only to dream
of those bright sunny days.

I Open My Eyes

I close my eyes to wonder
to wonder if you still care,
to wonder if you still love me,
to wonder if your still there.
To pray to God for peace
to rain and fall on me,
to guide me through the darkness
and allow my soul to be free.
I close my eyes for comfort
to escape my harsh reality,
to find my hiding place,
away from all this brutality.
I close my eyes for love,
in hopes of someday I shall find,
but only if I choose
to stay away from your kind.
I close my eyes to run
to run from all the dreams that have been stripped from me
to run from all this madness
to run from all this uncertainty
I close my eyes to fly
to fly over all the poverty
to fly over all this sadness
high above all this captivity.
till at last, I find my landing
I've escaped everything that has hurt me
destroyed all the wicked in my past
until I can finally be free.
I want no more dark days,
I want to be free to rise,
and when that day comes,
I too, shall open my eyes.

My Journey Home

I get up in the mornings
trying to find my destiny
configuring my thoughts
knowing you got the best of me.
It's hard to find the light,
trust me, I know.
when I allow you to take me places
I really don't want to go.
Conformed by your thoughts,
molded by your hands,
construed by your kicking,
controlled by your plans.
Then you tell me 'I Love You',
I don't know what that is.
But I'm trying my hardest to pretend I do,
only for my kids.
To love me is to know me,
and I don't even know myself
bound by your darkness
screaming out for some help.
Burning in the fire,
my wounds are cut deep.
Laying right beside you,
afraid to go to sleep.
I hear the birds chirping,
singing a happy song.
Wish someone was there to translate,
to help me get along.
Crying everyday,
pretending things are alright.
And if I don't do something to change this,
I might die tonight.
Or have I died already?
The person I use to know as me,
is long gone in the wind.
I've been trying to hold my head above water,
only to find out I can't swim.
Where is my life guard?
Shine a little bit of light.
Wipe my tears from my eyes,
to show me it will be alright.
Hold my hand through this pain,
let me cry on your shoulder.
My days are getting darker,
my nights are getting colder!
I no longer have a voice,
when I speak, nothing comes out!
I only hear the screaming inside,
as my thoughts continue to shout!
LET ME OUT!!!!!
I have nothing left to give,
everything has been stripped from me,
and you still want to lay up,
and tell me that you love me?
JUST STOP!
I can't take it anymore.
living life in death,
smelling the blood on these floors!
I was the one who gave you life,
and you want to take it from me?
Choking me till I cant breath,
thinking you control my destiny?
God knows whats best for me.......
That's why he decided to take me home....

Please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep!

Thumbs up to this black man..

Enjoy..

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a 20 year old

Caucasian woman,

who requested a response from black men.

I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!

Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.

I am a White female who is engaged to a good looking, educated and loving Black man. I just don't understand

a lot of Black females attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none.

As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean,

too argumentative, too needy,

too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men,

willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.

If Black women are so up in arms about us being

with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why

we are so appealing and coveted by them.

Bryant Gumbel left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen,

the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams,

Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones,

Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius , Berry Gordy,

Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes.... I could go on and on.

But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly.

Don't be mad with us White women

because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA

RESPONSE Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying

that I am a 28-year old black man.

I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house.

So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Black men date white women.

Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.

The black girls in my neighborhood

were raised in the church.

They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait,

brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy

without too much hassle.

So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays, in my opinion,

a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control.

A lot of Black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Black women.

We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us,

drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.

Because of this fear, many Black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous Black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is

to control & walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Black men date white women..

Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith,

Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds,

Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong Black women.

And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie and

Robin Thicke, to name a few.

I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because

you are 20 and white,

you are some type of goddess.

Remember, when Black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt ,

you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the Black woman that taught

you how to cook and season your food.

It was the Black woman

that taught you how to raise your children.

It was Black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the Black woman

that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.

Black women were born with two strikes against them; being Black and being a woman.

And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the Black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Black Queen.

It is not

just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them..

that I find most appealing about Black women.

Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls,

their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand

for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their

highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

I honestly believe that your anger

is geared more toward jealousy and

envy more so than snotty looks.

If this were not so, then why do you continuously

go to tanning salons to darken your skin?

If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy

with your pale skin?

Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips,

and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous like Black women?

Good Morning I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE:

If I were looking for a docile woman,

someone I can walk over and control,

I would give you a call.

But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman.

Someone that can be a good wife

and mother to my children.

Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles.

I am looking for a soul mate.

I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given. Signed, Black Royalty Wow!! We must pass this on to

make the day of the Black Queens of our acquaintances!

SIDE NOTE: I hope everyone has learned and taking something away from this email. When I first read this, I was just in amazement at what kind of knowledge people lack, and what kind of conclusions that other races of women may jump to just because we are a strong people. I am half black and half puerto rican and I feel ...like that both sides of me carry strength no doubt. A lot of times people look at the "black race" as an angry group of people and what they fail to realize is our history. I feel like this "white woman" lacked complete knowledge of our stories and this brotha could not have responded back any more proper. When you lack knowledge about certain things you lack the ability to draw any type of conclusions. She definitely made herself look very ignorant. But one thing that I have learned is that when you don't know something, you could always do your research. No, I'm not the type of person who has a strong opinion or non tolerance for interracial dating, but I do have a low tolerance for the ignorance. Especially when I know better. I don't judge white women, in fact I'm all for uplifting all types of women, but wrong is wrong and right is right. It's not on us to judge this lady because only God can do that, but God also gave us a voice, and I will use mine!

I am Too Grown For This

You want to question how I feel

because of what You had didnt grow

You want to question all my thoughts

And all the things you do not know

You want to live in your past

Because you cant move on with your life

You want to blame me for all the things

That you couldnt make out right

You want to shout me out on Facebook

And deteriate my name

You want to post your little comments

To try and make me feel shamed

Your trying to pick a battle

Because you really want me to snap back

But I got to tell you baby girl

Im just too grown for that

Im not going to stoop to your level

And give your life any meaning

Im not going to give you any conversation

Although, i know right now your fiening

Im not going to give you a smile

Or even roll my eyes your way

So whatevers on your mind

You can say what you want all day

Im the type to choose my battles

And frankly your not worth the amunition

Because when I picture you

I picture no competition

I didnt steal your man, or sleep with him behind your back

Im just a woman who met a great man

And its hard for you to handle that

When you didnt get the outcome you were waiting on

I became your target

And as woman, I completely understand

How it feels to be broken hearted

Your his "EX" know your role,

Im the woman who graces his hip

You dont have to like it, but respect it

And thats all im a say on that tip.

Im not declaring war

Or trying to be nasty in any way

Thats far from my style

I just say what I want to say

Right now im being a Lady

And just speaking from my heart

Because what God has brought together

No Woman can tear apart

So as far as im concerned

In our life, you dont exsist

This is my first and last attempt to tell you

Im just too Grown For this!

Side Note: I dont know why women love to continually tear other women down. We should be uplifting each other every chance that we get. This was for one in particular woman who felt the need to lash out on something that I felt like was unjust and did not make since to me, but I just could not find it in myself to stoop to her level, so I choose to be a little more creative to get my feelings out. Hope you enjoyed and ladies I hope you learned something too.

Dedicated To You (Kevin) A.K.A 24K

My God said be happy

So that's exactly what I'm going to do

I cant think of one damn thing

that can keep me away from you

You came into my life without notice

And I'll admit I had a few fears

But my God said keep the faith

Because there is not going to be many more tears

So I put my trust in you

I opened my heart and let you in

And not only am I in love with you

But you've become my best friend

My friend yes, the new man in my life,

And not only am I inspired

But I pray that our love stays tight

You are amazing

The true definition of a man indeed

And with God on our side

We have no choice but to succeed

I will admit there are many pretenders

I've seen a lot of imitations

but the Lord knew my heart

And he blessed the situation

I'm no longer moving with hesitations......

You manned up to the role of daddy

I watch you interact with my son

It don't take me by much surprise

But it clarified that you are the one

The truth of the matter is

I'm so in love with you

And living life without you

Doesn't feel like its possible

My Control switch once powerd on

Is now switched to power off

A heart that was hard as cement

You found a way to make soft.

I can say that I divorced the life I use to live

My old wounds are now closed

I've become engaged in loving you

And it feels good to be exposed

Its refreshing to wake up with a smile everyday

I cant hide from the truth

God answers prayers

And you've become my living Proof

............... I love you!

Reflextion

What is it about me that intimidates you?

Tell me what are you afraid of....

I have two eyes, I see like you do.

Explain to me what you are made of.

Is it my voluptuous curves that shortens your breath?

The grace in my walk when I stride?

The honey in my voice when I talk so sweet?

Or the dimples in my cheeks when I smile real wide?

Is it the rise of my chest when I laugh out loud?

Or the smoothness of my Carmel completed skin tone?

It has to be the tenderness of my inner thighs,

Or is it the beautiful arch of my backbone?

Is it the wideness of my hips that gets you so low?

Or in the thickness of my ass?

Or maybe it's just the softness of my feet,

Or in the toning of my calves.

I just want to know, what is it about me that intimidates you?

Let it out! What are you afraid of?

I have two eyes, I see like you do

So tell me, what are you made of????????????

TOO LATE (Old piece but one that I love)

Time and time again

I let this nigga in

Remembering deep inside

All the times he made me cry

Putting myself through

Allowing his self to

Hurting me in many ways

I shouldn't of let him stay......

BUT I DID

He gave me pleasure when I was weak

Now he's in the streets to cheat

Coming home real late

Said he was giving me a break

Told me I was needing space

But i knew he wanted to replace....

ME,

WHY DIDN'T I SEE?

Gave this nigga all my time

Was there at the drop of a dime

When he called me I was up

Now look who's fucked.....

ME,

WHY DIDN'T I SEE?

Kicked him out, Goodbye

Knocking at my door, Why?

Let him in cause I was in love

If that's what it was

Told me let's try again

He couldn't stand being my friend

I knew it was his way

Of getting me to let him stay......

AND IT WORKED

Now we're at it again

Dealing with a broke heart that I have to mend

And here comes the tears

All because of my fears

Of being alone

With no one to call on the phone

No one to hold my hand

No one to call my man

No one to be there

No one to pretend they care

No one to call mine

No one to share my time.....

EMPTY.

WHY ME?

Still running the streets, nothing new

Broke ass nigga, will never be true

Came home real late, and I was on fire

With all the games I went through, I was just tired

He came in my face like he was the shit

And I immediately showed him a true bitch

I packed his shit as he sat there and watched

Thinking I was going to cop out and stop

A woman can only take but so much from a man

And I damn sure took all that I can

Still not satisfied, I wanted him to remember me

I wanted to show him that he couldn't be that dog that he wanted to be

So I played the nice card

I told him he could stay

Only for that night

And I wanted him out the next day

And as that fool slept...

I could of killed me a nigga

And if i had some heat...

I would of pulled me a trigga

BUT I CHILLED

Thinking up a plan

So he could understand

Treat him the same

With so much pain

Allow him to see

That he shouldn't of fucked with me

That he cant just tear me apart

And break my heart

And I came up with the perfect trick

I climbed on top of his ass and cut of his...............................

A crazy bitch,

Now this is my story to tell

How a cheating dog has failed

How a good girl gone bad

Because of the dirty nigga she had

And if I could do it agian

I wouldn't of let him in

BUT IT'S TOO LATE

Sista Girl

Sista girl if you only knew

The worth of your true self

You wouldn't lay down at night and spread your legs

And take away from your wealth

Searching for love in these nameless faces

Convincing yourself that they'll love you back

You give them tears, they give you dick

deteriorating your beautiful habitat

You've prayed to God, and He heard your prayers

But where is your patience?

Decided to take things in your own hands

Tell me, where the hell your Faith is?

Here comes another John, or Joe, or Bob or Mike

You never really caught his name

You just shared your dreams, and he whispered sweet things

Knowing all the while your pussy was his aim

You decided to go another route and not have sex

Because all your sexual relations have failed

This stranger is at your house, sitting on your couch

Waiting for the fucking to prevail.

Well....

He touched you first, told you you were pretty

And started rubbing all over your shit

You pulled away, and told him no

But he said, "I'm a have that pussy bitch"

You got afraid, asked him to leave

He only got up to lock the door.

Turned around, grabbed your hair

and slammed your ass on the floor.

He fucked you hard, all night long

Punching and chocking you as he did it

And your motionless body lays there on the ground

And as for your life, you can forget it

But I just aint wit it......

So if a sista girl is reading this

That means you still have a chance

You don't have to look for love no longer, I love you for free

Hold on to your pants.

NOTE: If you are a "Sista girl" or you know a Sista Girl, know that you are loved. God loves you way more than any man or woman can love you. He can bring you up when you are down, He can fill your heart when it is empty, you are NEVER alone. Prayer changes everything, and I promise (and i am one who does not like to make promises that I cant keep) But I truly promise from the bottom of my heart that when you call on Jesus, He may not be there when you want him, but He is always on time. God loves you, I love you, now it's time to take the time out to love yourself.